Keys to Collaboration

“And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works.” Hebrews 10:24

I spent almost two weeks with my son and his family, celebrating Eva’s first birthday and creating memories. As I observed Ethan’s and Rachel’s parenting, I was struck once again with the fine balance parents must manage between a toddler’s budding sense of independence and their safety. All week, I heard from a persistent three-year-old, “I can sit in a big chair to eat my lunch, I can drink with the Peter Rabbit cup (the one with no lid), I can push a vacuum cleaner, I can scramble the eggs, I can hold the mixer all by myself….” Joel is determined to do the same things adults do but doesn’t quite understand his own limits. Yet, his parents patiently give him enough room to grow while keeping him safe. And this fine balance will continue to tip in his favor as he grows and develops.

Being independent is a sign of maturity, but we often ignore the fact that recognizing your limits amid independence is a stronger indicator of maturity. This sign of maturity manifests itself in the Christian life as well. We must develop our own walk with God marked with good habits and personal discipline while balancing that with being a part of a body of believers that helps us grow and develop. This principle of community is echoed throughout the Bible. God divided Israel into twelve tribes, so that they could function in small groups and still come together as a whole. Jesus called twelve disciples, not one person, to carry out the Great Commission. And these small group of disciples along with a few other apostles started small churches throughout the Middle East and beyond, who helped spread the gospel.

A few weeks ago, I once again experienced how a body of believers comes together to bless their community. A group of us came up with a vision to celebrate our children in a service. We invited a special speaker, Pastor Greg Marshall, who is gifted in ministry for both adults and children. We then came up with a few other ideas, including a puppet show, children leading worship, a skit, and ice cream sundaes to follow. What happened in the next few months was a beautiful example of everyone coming together to use their giftings to bring this service to fruition.

I am a “creative”, but I work best when collaborating with other creatives. I have no idea how to create promotional materials, I cannot sing, and I have never been a puppeteer. These limitations along with a finite amount of time put limits on what I can personally contribute to an event like our children’s rally. This is where others came to fill in the gaps, making a simple idea a richer vision. Promotional materials, working regularly with children in leading worship, a group of young people developing their acting talents in a skit, and spending hours decorating our foyer with whimsical clouds and balloon arches all contributed to making this event a success.

But collaboration works best with three key principles: humility, freedom, and ability to change. My friend Liane, who handles promotional materials, came up with a more concisely worded theme. She was hesitant to suggest it, not having much experience working with me before. But her theme was better, and I have learned not to hold anything too precious. When we are easily offended by other suggestions or hold too tightly to our own ideas, we lose out on valuable input. This input can find potential pitfalls with our ideas and/or help us clarify our vision. This is where humility comes in, recognizing that your ideas are not perfect, but that collaborating with others will help make the ideas stronger.

We must also be careful not to micromanage when we lead. Leading results in freedom and growth, while micromanaging produces frustration and bondage. I asked two young women to decorate the foyer for the event. Brittany and Lexi were both featured in my Discovering Joy series and have a proven record of creativity and design esthetic. They sent me pictures of their ideas and made the foyer an absolutely magical place for children. It was beyond what I had dreamed, and it created an atmosphere for children to feel special. Another woman, Karen, volunteered to put together some of the toppings for the ice cream sundaes. I would never have thought of gummy bears as a topping, but her intuition and experience with children were spot on. These confections were by far the favorites among the children I interacted with. I saw gummy bears on every child’s sundae!

Finally, we need to be willing to change. We had been practicing a skit for a couple of weeks, a modern-day version of Lot and Abraham deciding on which land to raise their flocks. It was filled with cowboy accents, Lamb-Fil-A, and triple espressos with goat milk. One of our leading actors, who carried out his role with humor, had a medical emergency two days before the event. We could have dropped the skit, but that would have minimized all the work everyone had put into the acting and props. We found someone else to fill in, who added his own sense of humor with ad libbed lines. He was willing to pivot with his own plans and fill in for us. The skit went on without a hitch, despite missing our original cast member.

Humility, freedom, and the ability to change, along with an incredible group of people who used their giftings, made this event a success. And once again, I was in awe of what had transpired from a simple idea. Time and time again, I have seen this recipe produce anointed events that minister to people. Peter reminds fellow believers in 1 Peter 4:10, “God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.” Joel is learning to be independent, but I pray that he learns to be in a community of believers where they serve one another with their individual gifts.