My Grown-Up Christmas List: Part 5: Less and More

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven;” Ecclesiastes 3:1

Terry and I discovered The Great British Baking Show about a year ago. We love to see the humble bakers get a handshake from Paul Hollywood, a judge. We admire their showstoppers in the form of sponges, bread, or pastries. And we are delighted when Prue Leith gives advice about the flavor combinations. Recently, I heard Prue Leith being interviewed on the podcast Splendid Table. As a Michelin Star restaurateur, her advice on cooking is valuable. She remarked about the importance of less ingredients done well. She says often when you are trying to hit all the flavor notes in one dish, the flavors get combined and muddled.

This problem of “too much” crosses all disciplines in life. When Joel, my three-year-old grandson, paints with watercolors, the more colors he puts wildly on the paper, the more likely they will blend into a mucky brown. We have all been to a house where the walls are covered with pictures and the shelves overflow with knickknacks, and we instantly feel a need for fresh air. Even scientists and psychologists who study the importance of specialization versus generalization of knowledge are finding that specialization is more effective for society. But for some reason, the idea of too much gets lost in the Christmas chaos.

Christmas is in full swing; our calendar is full of festive activities and get-togethers. My tree is trimmed, cookie list made, and gifts are brought. I’m listening to all my favorite music and have started our Christmas reads. Yet, despite all this flurry of activities, I am determined to maintain my calm and peace. And this sense of tranquility has taken years to cultivate.

I saw a meme from the “Simplicity Habit” of a holiday wish list contrasting less with more. It says less gifts, more memories; less busyness, more peace; less stress, more joy; less chaos, more calm; and less excess, more gratitude. This has been a theme every Christmas I have had this blog, but I never seem to achieve the nirvana of less. But maybe this is the problem! Maybe it’s not about achieving a certain level of less but about achieving the right amount of Christmas that I need for this year. And that looks different from year to year, depending on the season of life I am in.

When my children were little, the flurry of activities seemed appropriate. We leaned into the season, capturing the magical moments but keeping the emphasis on the birth of Jesus. My children fondly remember Christmas movies, books, and places we visited during the holidays. They looked forward to the abundance of cookies, and Christmas music on repeat at home. We played games, did puzzles, and laughed a lot during the holidays.

But they are now married, and the flurry of activities seems less important now. We still look forward to some festivity, like having our annual Hot Chocolate Party. We still play Christmas music, but we lean towards more classical Christmas hymns or instrumental music. We spend more time reading Advent lessons, reflecting on hope, peace, joy, and love. The holidays still feel magical, but in a quieter, calmer way.

A few years ago, when my uncle had passed away, Christmas was hard for me. I struggled plugging in my lights, listening to music, and embracing the season. And my husband graciously let me celebrate Christmas in a way that seemed right for me. Last year, Terry struggled with our first empty nester Christmas, and I had to let him work through his feelings. Christmas still came those years, but it was more important for us to acknowledge our feelings instead of covering them up with packages and bows.

My final Grown-Up Christmas List item this year is for all to celebrate the season in a way that is meaningful for you. Maybe this is the year you feel like giving extravagantly to those you love; do so. Or maybe this is the year you focus more on creating memories, with less trappings; do so. Maybe this year you say no to invites, and curl up reading in your chair; do so. Maybe this is the season you say yes to invites and enjoy the time together. Whatever you do, do it from your heart, not from a sense of obligation or tradition. Don’t give from a place of emptiness, whether it’s overdrawing your budget or expending energy you don’t have. Finally, take moments to pause and reflect on the birth of Jesus and how it has transformed our world.

Merry Christmas, my dear readers! I hope this series of blogs helps you create hospitality at the table, encourages you to shop small, chase beauty, and celebrate Christmas in a way that works for you. Incorporating these practices in my life may not “end wars,” or result in “time healing all wounds” like the lyrics of the song that inspired this series. But I do think it will make a difference in those lives near and dear to me.

On that note, for the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing some of my favorite older pieces I have written during pasts Christmas. This will free me up to be present with those I love for the rest of the season. I’ll be back in January with my top books and podcasts of 2023 and other thoughts about life! Thanks again for all the time you have taken to read my thoughts along life’s journey.