Behold

“One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.” Psalm 27:4

For seven whole days during the holidays, our grandchildren were staying in our home with our son and daughter-in-love. It was perfect: we took items out of our pantry, playing grocery store with the toy cash register. We made homemade marshmallows, ate lots of pancakes, and smelled spices. We read books, snuggled, and painted nutcrackers. But much of the time, my husband and I just gazed with delight and wonderment at the two little ones who have completely captured our hearts. Watching them play, explore, and interact with one another brought us pure joy. It was more fulfilling than any movie I have ever seen, any book I have ever read, and any place I have ever visited. And this feeling coupled with the action of gazing can only be captured in one word: behold.

The word behold feels like intricate lace doilies from your favorite grandmother’s home or the warm glow from a kerosene lamp. It’s an old-fashioned word with all the warm feelings you can conjure. According to the Oxford dictionary, “to behold” is to see or observe a thing, especially a remarkable or impressive one. Amazingly, this antiquated word is used about 1,300 times throughout the Bible, often followed by an exclamation point. In the Greek, the word means “pay attention, look, open your eyes”, preceding a principle or idea towards which God wants us to direct our attention.

Recently, I heard something on a podcast that forced me to ask myself some hard questions. How did my children and any others that were put under my care see my gaze when they walked into a room? Did they see me excited and delighted to spend time with them? Did they see me shift my attention from whatever menial household task I was doing to one of interest and investment in them? Or did they see me ready to offer a critique and criticism about their appearance or action? Did they see me frown with disdain or annoyance? Did they see in me a lack of interest in what they had to say?

I am ashamed to admit that some of them would answer affirmatively to some of the latter, more negative questions. I remember times that I offered more criticism than praise, more annoyance than delight, and more disengagement than interest. And I am sure these little people felt deflated, ignored, or devalued at the expression on my face and the inflection in my voice.

Our facial expressions are not as masked as we would like to think. How often does the perky greeting of our favorite smiling barista make our day start off better? Or, in the other hand, how often does the grouchiness of a customer service representative make our challenging problem even more frustrating? As often as we pay attention to the facial cues and vocal inflections of others, are we aware of the facial cues and vocal inflections we are portraying to others? Do we stop and behold the face of someone for a few minutes as they converse with us?

Wednesday evenings are often crazy busy for me. I arrive at church early, eat a quick dinner and run quiz practice for some children. I usually have a few minutes to spare before church starts, where I am handing out lesson plans for Sunday School or following up with someone about one thing or another. And after church, again, I am following up on a conversation that I need to have.

Despite this chaos, this doesn’t excuse me from paying attention to those around me. Last week, Marie, a young woman in our church was delighted to show me a book bag she had embroidered for Lyla, one of the younger girls in our church. She embroidered Lyla’s name along with some extra flourishes that captured the younger girl’s sweet nature. But in my frantic state, I took a quick glance, and said it was nice, and rushed off.

Later, I had a few minutes to process what I had just done, and I felt awful. Marie had spent a considerable amount of time creating something beautiful for someone else. And her desire to share this with me deserved more than a cursory glance. It deserved my full attention; it deserved some moments of me “beholding” it. As soon as possible, I apologized and took a few minutes to look at the bag. I saw her care and design and complimented her on what she had created.

This concept of beholding is not limited to my relationships with others, but also applies to my relationship with God. I wonder how God would respond to these questions: does Sherry really pay attention to Me as she is reading My word? Does she invest quality time with Me in prayer or is she just counting the moments until she can move on? Does she delight in worshiping Me?

Again, I think I would be ashamed of God’s honest answers to my questions. All too often, I am distracted while reading His word, instead of clearing my brain so I can hear God speak. I am rushing through prayer, moving on to the next task, or my mind is focused on difficult situations instead of praising God for His goodness. And as beautiful as my grandchildren are to me, my relationship with God is far more precious, deserving the best of my attention!

When I think about children, I am amazed at how often just a few moments of undivided attention is all that they require. They are busy little humans who quickly move on to other things as they play and explore. But when they seek you, all they are asking is for you to behold them for just a little while. They just want to know that they are seen and valued.

God is different, He wants all our attention. At the same time, He doesn’t expect us to relinquish our responsibilities while cloistering ourselves in prayer and studying His word. He knows that dishes need to be washed, bills need to be paid, and mouths need to be fed. But our attention can be on Him while we are doing those tasks. We can express gratefulness for our home while washing dishes at our sink. We can work in a way that our employers see our Christian witness with our integrity and commitment. And we can demonstrate God’s love to those He has entrusted us to care for while preparing dinner. All of this, coupled with our personal rhythms of worship, prayer and studying His word, are ways we can behold Him.

That week with our grandchildren flew by. Seven days later, Terry and I waved goodbye to the little ones who had enraptured us. And for days afterwards, we talked about the time we spent with them, counting the days until our next visit. The more we behold someone, the more time we want to spend time with them. And this applies to our relationship with God as well. The more I behold God, the more I delight in Him and look forward to moments spent with Him.

This year, I want to spend less time checking off the boxes. I want to be less distracted and more focused. I want to behold both God and others. And it doesn’t have to cost me much, just a shift in what I deem important. And I am curious about the results if more of us made this our mission for the year. If we spent more time beholding God and others, what would shift in this world of chaos and stress? I have no idea, but I intend to do my part to find out!