Shadows and Groundhogs

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” James 1:17 ESV

Last Friday, men in top hats and tails gathered in front a huge crowd to see Punxsutawney Phil, one of the world’s most famous rodents. Music played, speeches were made, and cameras clicked as this groundhog crept out of his man-made burrow. Everyone held their collective breath, awaiting the groundhog and the view of his shadow. Soon, an early spring was declared with pomp and cheers. Due to the cloud cover, Phil did not see his shadow, and a 137-year tradition continued.

Years ago, I met a woman and her two children at the library. We struck up a conversation and immediately found a common interest with both of us being home educators. Soon, our families were eating dinner and playing games together. She seemed eager for community and would often bring little gifts of appreciation or write kind notes. Our husbands got along, and I was looking forward to building a lasting friendship.

Within a few months of the budding friendship, I opened an email from her but addressed to her husband and mistakenly sent it to me. I was confused, and the confusion only grew as I read the contents of the email. It was an angry tirade about a Walmart employee who had made a simple mistake. My new friend used expletives that I had never heard her use. Her anger seemed out of proportion, and she even threatened to call management and possibly sue the store. I was stunned! Was this the same lady who had just brought over blueberry muffins the week before? I realized this message was sent to me by accident, deleted it, and tried to believe that this was an outlier incident.

But it wasn’t. Within a few more months, other similar incidents happened, and this time her anger was directed towards me and my family. It got ugly quickly, and my husband and I decided, with prayer, that it was in all our best interests to end the friendship peacefully and go our separate ways.

We all have ways we want to be perceived by others, it’s the ideal version of ourselves. I want others to perceive me as friendly, joyful, and a good listener. I pray that they actively see Christ working in me. This is what psychiatrist Carl Jung referred to as our ego. Yet, I can be distracted, and am sometimes irritable and talk more than I listen. This unpleasant version of Sherry most often appears within the four walls of my home in front of the people I love the most. Carl Jung refers to this as our shadow side.

Recently, I heard writer John Mark Comer talk about this ego and shadow side in the context of Christianity. It’s good to pursue Godly character, to cultivate goodness, patience, gentleness, and joy in life. But often, our true nature, our shadow side comes out. We are humans and make choices that don’t always align themselves with Christ. And often this is the side we try to hide from others. Comer went on to say that the most integrated people are those who have the least amount of difference between their ego and shadow side. They are who they present, and they don’t have hidden sides that people would be startled at if they read an unexpected email.

In the case of Punxsutawney Phil, his shadow’s visibility is due to a law of physics. For a shadow to appear, an object needs to come between a light source and a surface. On a cloudy day, with no light, Phil would not see his shadow, thus predicting an early spring. Although physics can explain shadows, they are not often seen as neutral in life. In literature and films, shadows suggest something sinister, while children discovering shadow puppets find shadows humorous and delightful.

In the Bible, the apostle John compares God to being light, “and the light shineth into darkness”. This was more than just a metaphor, seen both when Moses was on Mount Sinai and the mountaintop transfiguration of Jesus. In both cases, the light from God was so blinding that it affected the face of Moses and the clothes of Jesus, reflecting His glory. And this same light continues as I listen to sermons, read His word, spend time in prayer, and meditate on God. And as I see the glory of God, it moves me to sanctification by illuminating the shadows in my life. The more I know God and am in relationship with Him, the more my shadow side is visible. I see where I fall short, where my character is lacking, and where sin has crept into my life.

Recently, I made a dark chocolate cheesecake. The dark cocoa and the melted chocolate are in direct contrast with the pure white cream cheese and sugar. If the cream cheese is not softened well, no matter how well I mix, it is likely that small white chunks of cream cheese will remain when baked. Then when I serve the cheesecake, instead of a uniform creamy chocolate consistency, a person will taste the sharp tang of unmixed cream cheese.

I may have the light of God shining on me, but if I don’t allow humility to soften my heart, that shadow side will dominate. I am not likely to send an email filled with expletives, but I can still be sharp with unkindness and unloving behavior. And to be humble, I must be focused on God and less on my own image. Theologian Timothy Keller defines humility this way: “I cannot feel superior to anyone, and yet I have nothing to prove to anyone. I do not think more of myself nor less of myself. Instead, I think of myself less.”

God is exactly who He said he would be. James records in 1:16-17, “Do not be deceived my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” And although I will never be perfectly like God, I can allow His light, coupled with my humility and my pursuit of Him, to help me become more like Him.