Reclaimed & Restored: 35 Days

“But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded.” 2 Chronicles 15:7 ESV

It’s done! My memoir, Reclaimed & Restored, is uploaded, and my proof copy has arrived. For almost five years, I have labored over this book and covered it with prayer. The font has been chosen, the cover designed by my amazing daughter and hours and hours of edits have been made by my husband. Five weeks from today, it will be available through Amazon in both paperback and E-book formats. Then I will take the next two weekends to celebrate with book launches in both Pennsylvania and Wisconsin.

For the last month, my blog has been quiet because I have been consumed with getting my book ready for publication. Terry has spent most of his Saturdays staring at his computer from sunup to sundown, helping me make the needed changes and fixing the multitude of punctuation and grammatical errors. At the end of those long days, we would both fall into bed, bleary-eyed and exhausted.

I have learned a lot through this writing process. Spending all that time looking up the nitty gritty details of comma usage will hopefully result in making fewer errors in the future. Reading your manuscript aloud with someone else present gives you an idea of how your words are being heard and reduces the amount of repetitive language. I have learned when it’s important to be decisive and when it’s important to use caution when drawing conclusions. I am reminded of the value of citing as you go; it will make the final manuscript so much easier to note.

I have also learned the importance of feedback and how to receive it. I recognized early on that this project was going to be vulnerable and challenging to write. All too often, when telling others about my abuse, I would intellectualize it by just stating the facts, leaving my heart and hurt behind. I felt strongly to be more vulnerable this time around and help reduce the shame that victims feel by being graphic with details. My purpose was to help victims feel validated, that they were not alone with the hardest, ugliest, most brutal trauma that they have experienced in their life. Along with that, I wanted to educate others on how brutal sexual trauma is for victims.

But along with the ugliest parts of my life, I wanted the book to bring hope to survivors. The only way to combine the ugly truth with pictures of hope was to interweave my story of abuse with lighter anecdotal and theological truths. Yet, I was concerned this back and forth might result in weak transitions and be difficult for readers to follow. So, I sent the book out to ten people for feedback on structure, grammar, punctuation, and general thoughts.

I remember sitting in my living room in April and clicking send, moving this work of heart out to other people’s devices to read and critique. Doubts raced through my head. Will everyone see me as an imposter of a writer? What if people hate it? What if it doesn’t resonate with people? And the biggest question of all: Was my trauma too much for people to read?

Feedback came in slowly, especially for those who were closest to me. Some of my closest friends didn’t know the extent of my abuse and had to put it down for a bit to process their feelings of anger towards my perpetrator. Some feedback pointed out my misplaced modifiers and comma errors, while some suggested rewording a sentence here and there to make it more readable. Others suggested more clarification in some areas and to be careful about making declarations concerning correlations between health issues and trauma. This feedback was valuable, and it made the book stronger.

The feedback also answered the biggest question that plagued my mind: my trauma was not too much for people to read. The feedback was consistent and supportive. Yes, it was hard and brutal in the beginning of the book. But as they read on, readers started to see the picture of hope that I was hoping would shine through. Denise Thompson, one of my final editors, called the book “Horrifyingly beautiful.” These two words were one of the best compliments I could ever receive.

It is surreal to have my own ISBN number attached to a book and to see my name on a book spine. I can’t imagine how it is going to feel when my book title becomes available on Amazon on Friday, October 25. I am excited that both my children and their spouses, along with my three favorite little ones, are going to celebrate with me in Pennsylvania. I am also looking forward to reconnecting with friends and family while I am in Wisconsin.

After the excitement of the book launch ends, I am most excited to hear about the impact the book makes on others. I pray that this little book of mine gets into the hands of people who need hope that the most terrible moments of their lives do not have to define them. What defines a person is the life you allow God to restore within you and how you use that life to make something beautiful.

Next week, I am going to reshare the post that started it all, a vulnerable post about why I don’t celebrate my father on Father’s Day. The following two weeks, I will share excerpts from the book. Then the week before the book launches, I will close with some final thoughts and feelings I have about my life. I hope that you find these next few posts encouraging and inspiring. More importantly, I hope that my small community starts sharing this book with others who may benefit from the subject matter.

Let the countdown begin: 35 days till Reclaimed & Restored is released!!!