“He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.” Psalm 1:3 ESV

A new cookie recipe captured my family’s heart. It wasn’t the decadent brown butter chocolate chip cookie that made every other chocolate chip subpar. It wasn’t Dorie Greenspan’s World Peace cookie, which is the perfect blend of buttery, salty, chocolatey goodness. It was an ordinary cookie that is often overlooked at church potlucks: the oatmeal raisin cookie. I have used a friend’s recipe for years which she got from a Walt Disney cookbook, and it is delicious. I included that cookie on Christmas platters, thinking that maybe it would tip the scales slightly from sugar overload to a health food store vibe. This new recipe, from one of my favorite bakers, Zoe Francois, turned that oatmeal raisin cookie upside down. She starts by browning the butter and then adds her secret weapon. While the butter is still sizzling in the pot with its nutty fragrance filling the air, you add cinnamon, and for 15 seconds, you let it bloom. This simple step allows the cinnamon to intensify in flavor and permeate the cookie, adding a subtle richness that elevates the recipe. They were so popular, the next day my daughter asked for the recipe.

Right now, everything is blooming in central PA. For about three weeks, the trees that lined my street displayed white blossoms, making our ride home feel like a majestic welcome. Daffodils have come and gone, and now tulips are reigning in our neighborhood.  The yellow, red, and orange cups open as the sun rises, reminding me God’s mercies are new every day. This burst of blooms brightens my day after a long gray winter. Despite the havoc the pollen is creating in my red, itchy eyes, I am still delighted spring has arrived.

Spring always feels like possibilities: new life, new beginnings, and new growth. Despite my delight, the sluggishness of winter still clings to my body and mind. This may be due to the trifecta of circumstances in my life: an RA flare, menopausal insomnia and Vitamin D deficiency. Add in my usual seasonal depression, it’s been a hard time. Each day I wake up exhausted and fake my usual perkiness in both my work and personal life. By the end of the day, I stop pretending, and slump into my hibernation mode. But even with pretending, it is evident in my lack of writing. I find it easier to scroll on Instagram looking for inspiration than to put my fingers to the keyboard. It is evident by the dark circles under my droopy eyelids. It is evident when I am more content to stay home on weekends than leave my house.

I recognize that some of what I am feeling is due to some health issues beyond my control. I have started a new medicine for my RA, which should make a difference in six more weeks. I am also taking a prescription dose of Vitamin D, which should also make a difference. I recognize that depression can be a serious issue that needs intervention from a physician and/or a therapist. I am not at that point, but I do need to make some changes that help create some natural serotonin and dopamine in my life.

Due to the severity of my RA flare, any additional exercise beyond my normal daily activity seemed impossible in the past year. Getting out of bed in the morning was a major accomplishment with achy and swollen joints taking up all my physical energy. I am starting to see some differences with the medicine regime I am on, and I am planning to join the YMCA soon. I think swimming will be good for my joints and some mild weight training will help build strength. Terry and I both miss our regular walks, and plan on incorporating that back into our lives as well, finding new parks and trails to explore. Just moving alone should help increase my dopamine.

We recently enjoyed two lectures by an area bookstore owner on the history of our local library. After dinner, I mustered up enough energy to go to the lectures despite the enticements my cozy couch whispered to me. After each lecture, I felt energized, conversing about the Bosler family, stained glass, and artist Edward Burne-Jones. This reminded me that it is important to explore. Micro adventures to area gardens, bookstores, and museums will inspire and breathe life into me, dialing up my serotonin levels.

Beyond medicine, exercise, and micro adventures, I need to prioritize creativity in my life. For me, that comes in several different forms, including cooking and writing. On a recent podcast, Aimee Nezhukumatathil, author of Bite by Bite, remarked that we have “26 letters to make magic with” and speculated about the infinite number of spices we can use to make a dish. Scrolling on Instagram, no matter how curated my feed is, has become a habit that leaves me depleted and exhausted. I know this, I have written about this in the past. But when you are not feeling well, it is too easy to stay checked out instead of living. I have at my fingertips, the ability to write essays or books that inspire or encourage others. I have in my spice cabinet the ability to create meals that expose Terry and I to new cultures and cuisines.

There is scientific research that demonstrates how creativity affects your mental status. Often, when engaging in creative pursuits, you enter a “flow state” where you lose track of time while doing something you enjoy. This happens to all sorts of creatives, and when in this flow state, you reach a level of calmness that reduces stress. At the same time, it energizes you, increasing your capacity throughout the day. It also helps you process your emotions and increases your empathy. Therapists are starting to use more dance, music, and art therapy to help people with depression and post-traumatic stress. Finally, by being creative, you increase your brain’s plasticity. This will help you process information better in the future, building more connections across your brain.

My husband has been a witness to my struggles the past year.  He has seen me wince in pain when I struggle to find a comfortable position in bed. He has seen me sitting in the car while he runs in to get something at my former happy place, Target. He has seen me mask my tiredness by pretending to be ok, when I am not. Additionally, he has picked up the slack: cooking, running errands, and cleaning.

Terry also knows what fulfills me. And in his own gentle way, he reminded me a few weeks ago by sending me a Substack screen shot. It came from Joshua Luke Smith, reminding himself of the importance of writing. I will not quote it all, but it included these lines: “I am a writer, and this week, I will write. I will type, until what is within me exists beyond me. I will not make excuses about time or talent.” He followed that with another quote from Kyle Worley, “The writer has to love the world enough to ignore it so that they might illuminate it.”  These simple quotes reminded me of the importance of creating. They pushed me forward into setting aside more time to write.

Right now, flowers are blooming due to the warmth of the sun. Heat applied to the cinnamon bloomed the spicy flavor to permeate the cookie. Terry’s gentle prodding was the heat to nudge me into blooming again as a writer.

We are all creatives, and as creatives, we sometimes have slumps or challenging seasons. But just as spring is an indicator of new life, let this piece remind you to go create. Whether it is picking up your camera to get the perfect shot, finding your paint brush to paint a landscape, strumming your guitar, crocheting a blanket, or writing a poem, spend time finding something creative to do. Soon, your creativity will permeate goodness throughout your life.