Evolving Faith

“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” 2 Peter 3:18

It has been a bit since I have put pen to paper or in my case, fingers to keyboard. I could make excuses that would be true. I acknowledge that my work life is filled with tours, ribbon cuttings, and volunteer groups. I could also say that my rheumatoid arthritis condition has been challenging during this season, pushing me to get extra rest. I could add that all the chaos in the world has driven me to slide under the covers and escape into a book. All these things would be true, but if I set aside all the noise and chaos and listened to God’s quiet voice, I would hear the real reason. It is not that I was too busy, too ill, or too tired. Instead, God was offering me the grace to step into a place where I could process events more deeply.

Two days ago, I was attempting to clean up my phone from the hundreds of screenshots I take. Quotes, book titles, places to see, food, and art fill my phone, inspiring me in the moment. Christian thinker, Sarah Bessey, wrote something in 2023 that has been in my screenshots since then. It hit me back then, but today it resonates even more. She says, “Anyone who gets to the end of their life with the exact same beliefs and opinions as they had at the beginning is doing it wrong.”  There is a lot to unpack in this statement, and I feel like the conclusion is important. My faith should be influenced by life experiences, other people’s interpretations of scriptures, and most importantly my own studying of God’s word. As I get older, I find I am less trusting of what others have said our doctrinal beliefs should be but surer of the gospel. I know this may sound sacrilegious to people I love and care about. But based on my screenshots and my reading lists, this is not something that happened because of recent events. It is not because I experienced church hurt. Yes, those things are true and may have influenced my path. It started with a woman who did not want bread alone to fulfill her.

I have gone back to eating bagels, and along with that has come weight gain. I have noticed God nudging me again in this area. He was kind to give me space to mourn and grieve some personal losses. But lately, I have found as I chew the bagel, the very act has stripped the bagel of its flavor. As my jaw worked the tasteless dough, my mind conjured a vision of a desolate wasteland, maybe something from Cormac McCarthy’s The Road. It was God reminding me that only He fulfills, only He brings true peace, joy, and healing. So once again, I am putting the bagel down and resting in the arms of Jesus. I again will address weight, not from a numbers place, but from a place of health and wholeness.

I love what my husband says, “I am a follower of Christ.” The label of “Christian” has been hijacked by Christian Nationalists. They substitute the teachings of Jesus with misogyny, racism, and power. Instead, I am looking at the words of Jesus and seeing how He treated others, with overflowing compassion and mercy. So once again, I am accepting the grace God has offered to make this new transition in my life.