By Sherry Collins

“One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after:that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.” Psalm 27:4 ESV

Chef Sara Moulton recently shared a story about Julia Child on the podcast, Cherry Bombe that made me laugh.  Years ago, Julia Child was at a culinary conference focused on the benefits of healthy eating during the height of the anti-fat trend.  A panel of experts had just spoken about eliminating all fat when cooking and the marvels of breeding pork to be lean.  When the moderator turned to the crowd for any feedback, Julia made a poignant statement in her recognizable voice, “I just don’t understand what is so terribly wrong with butter.  I just love butter!”

 Her words were a lifeline to me during my recent ailment when I couldn’t taste or smell anything.  I ate only because I could feel hunger pains and I needed nourishment to help fight the illness.  When temperature, texture, and color become your only identification with food, oatmeal is warm mush, cherry tomatoes are red wet balls, and coffee is hot brown water.  But Julia Child’s statement about butter kept me going, reminding me that food did have flavor and, someday, my senses of smell and taste would return, and I would, once again, be able to enjoy it.

This temporary loss made me appreciate God and His creativity and goodness found in the world He designed.  He filled our world with colors, sounds, textures, smells, and flavors that appeal to us and bring enjoyment to our lives.  He could have made the world black and white, where everything we touch is smooth and hard, and smells and taste are one note.  Instead, He paints the sky with citrus colors dusted with blush pinks at sunset, designs birds to sing cheerful morning music, allows spiny hedgehogs to roam pine-scented forests, and gives us salty, rich butter to cover our toast.  I recognize that senses help us take in information about our world and can provide a form of protection for us.  But God had a bigger plan for us; He created beauty in the world for us to see, hear, taste, smell, and touch.  This beauty enriches our lives and points us toward a creative God.

The Bible is full of passages that, through our senses, invite us to learn more about God.  In Psalm 19:1, we are told that “The heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the works of his hands.”  In Psalm 34:8, He challenges us to “taste and see that the Lord is good.”  Our testimony and praise “spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere,” according to 2 Corinthians 2:15.  1 John 5:14 states, “the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.”  Finally, we can be assured that God is doing a work in us because Isaiah 64:8 declares, “you are our Father, we are the clay, and you are the potter, we all are the work of your hands,”.

Twenty years ago, if I had had the privilege to serve Julia Child a meal, she would have asked me the same question about butter.  I was trying to make healthy choices when I prepared vegetables for my children, serving them slightly steamed mixed vegetables with just a dash of salt.  My children obediently choked down their flavorless vegetables, never declaring their goodness.  As I have grown in my culinary skills, I now recognize the importance of fat, such as butter or good olive oil, because it provides flavor and balance to foods.  I would still be nervous to cook for Julia Child, but she wouldn’t need to ask me why I thought butter was so terrible!

Just like butter helps to make vegetables a little more palatable, we need beauty in our lives to get through hard moments.  We need to watch sunrises, taste mint chutney, listen to Vivaldi’s concertos, feel the warmth of plush, cozy throws, and smell cinnamon rolls baking in the oven.  Beauty gives us a reason to pause, reflect, praise, and thank God for His multitude of blessings.  Hannah Anderson, in her book All That’s Good: Recovering the Lost Art of Discernment, says, “for when we seek whatever is lovely, we are lifted above the paltry urgencies of this life and given a vision of the next.  When we seek whatever is lovely, we are drawn to the One who is altogether lovely”.  Beautiful things are all around us to enjoy, but I have a responsibility to seek those things.   Just maybe, having my senses impaired for a brief period was a gentle reminder of the importance of drawing closer to the lovely One.

“As long as the earth endures, seed time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.” Genesis 8:22

The last four weeks have been a whirlwind!  We spent almost a week in Rhode Island, including a day trip to Nantucket.  We followed that up with major family celebrations: Joel’s first birthday; Maggie’s and Will’s engagement; Maggie’s birthday; our anniversary.  We returned home only to have my son and his family follow a few days later for a week long vacation in Pennsylvania.  After tearful goodbyes, I had a day to do laundry and pack for a short getaway to celebrate a friend’s 50^th birthday.  The whirlwind ended in quarantine with a positive COVID-19 diagnosis!  As I write this, I am slowly recovering without my sense of smell and taste.  It might sound like poor planning on all our parts, but it was crazy, busy fun, except for COVID-19!  We laughed, played Canasta, took walks, drank a lot of coffee, and had meaningful conversations.  I wouldn’t trade a single moment of it for anything!

According to Facebook memories, this time of the year always seems to be busy.  In the last few weeks, I have reread posts about Joel’s birth, Maggie’s missionary trips, Ethan’s packing for college, and his later move to Rhode Island.  I even saw a post from 2009 when Terry took Ethan and a group of boys camping up in northern Wisconsin while Maggie and I had a girl’s weekend at home.  These posts remind me of treasured moments with my family while I soak up the last gifts of summer.  They also remind me of how time doesn’t stop.   Your son’s boxes filling your living room while he prepares to leave for college are replaced with suitcases and gifts for his son in what seems to have been a seamless transition, five years later.

Summer is quickly winding down.  In the weeks ahead, many children head back to school, whether traditional, virtual, or home school.  Apples and pumpkins will replace peaches and watermelon at farmers’ markets.  Flannels and wool socks will be my clothing choices, retiring the flip-flops and short sleeves.  Even now, I see hints of everything pumpkin spice creeping into stores.  As I sit on my porch soaking up the ninety-degree heat while cicadas drown out my worship music, and bees and butterflies hover over my flowers, I realize that summer isn’t over!

For several springs, I have rushed to the Target patio furniture displays and drooled over the egg chairs, large, egg-shaped wicker chairs that are suspended from a pole.  Each year, the styles slightly change with different shades of the cushion, but the dream of sitting in an egg chair on my patio, cozied up with a book, remained the same.  Until recently, I never seriously entertained the idea because I was far above the weight limit.  But now that I am under the weight limit, I kept eyeing the chairs, dreaming about it on my patio.  For our anniversary, our children surprised us with the egg chair!  l was overwhelmed with their generosity and have been sitting in the chair every chance I get.  Even on the hottest days, sitting in the egg chair has made summer even more enjoyable.

Two weeks ago, I mentioned that too often we live in past seasons by only focusing on what has been.  We reminisce about when our children were still young, and life seemed easier.  On the flip-side, I think there is also danger in always looking forward to the next season.  We can miss the important moments happening right now if we are always looking ahead.  Yes, my past four weeks have been busy, but I am so thankful for the crazy-busy moments: the walks in my yard with my grandson; watching my daughter glow in her new status as an engaged young woman; strolling along the beach with my husband; the life-affirming conversations I had with friends and family.  I lived in the moment, not looking ahead to the future.

 It’s still summer and I am going to really enjoy the rest of the season.  Being quarantined has made me appreciate moments on my patio more.  My daily walks are on hold and the patio is the one place it is safe for me to enjoy nature.  If the days are hot, I am not going to complain.  Instead, I intend to soak up the heat and stay hydrated.  Sitting in my egg chair, I enjoy hearing the crickets play their last sonatas of the summer season.  I have even seen hummingbirds flitting around eating as much nectar as they can before they head for the tropics.  I love fall, but summer is still here, and I am going to choose to live in the moment, today!

“The land yields its harvest, God, our God, blesses us.” Psalm 67:6

I am a little obsessed with local farmers’ markets and farm stands.  Actually, the truth is I am a lot obsessed!  Whenever I research new areas to visit and the local farmers’ markets get any press, you can pretty much guarantee that I will stop by.  There is something special about walking among the stands, looking at piles of rainbow Swiss chard and summer tomatoes, discovering a new local cheese artisan, or finding a food truck making donuts.  The farmers are usually full of information and ideas on how to use their produce, and you feel good about supporting a local business.

Last year, I blogged in Strawberry Anniversary about how incredible freshly picked strawberries are compared to ones you find in the middle of winter at the grocery store.  The color, texture, and taste do not even compare!  The grocery store ones have been shipped in trucks from who knows where, often picked long before they were ready and have only the barest essence of real strawberries.  The ones you find locally in season are exactly what God intended strawberries to taste like: a lush, sweet delight!  But I find this contrast of flavors limited not only to strawberries, but to all foods in general.

 Too often, I have prepared my menus based on what I felt like eating instead of what was currently in season.  This approach ends up costing me a little more money and leaves with me meals that are less tasty.  Additionally, I often use the same vegetables over and over again, unwilling to explore the wide variety that God has created.

After reading a few cookbooks and watching several food shows, I have decided to be a little more creative and adventurous with my produce.  This summer and fall, I am choosing to embrace what is in season, purchasing most of these from local farmers, whenever possible.  Sometimes, I go to a farmers’ market with no agenda in mind and buy what is available.  I then go home, search through recipes, finding a simple but tasty way to prepare whatever I have purchased.  This has led to a garlic scape pesto that I used on a grilled vegetable sandwich, and rainbow chard with northern beans.  Not every recipe is a success, but it is challenging me to eat more veggies and fruit.  I have also tried different fruits, including a bright, sunny yellow, plum that has a sweet-tart flavor, like a cherry.

I am nearing the finish line in my parenting journey.  My daughter recently got engaged!  Within a year, my daughter will be married and creating a home for herself and her husband.  I know that when the day comes, I will have some tears as she moves out.  But just like eating strawberries out of season, I do not want to focus on the past seasons of raising toddlers and children.  Those were joyous seasons in my life I really enjoyed.  This upcoming empty nest season is a time for me to explore new ministry opportunities, spend time investing in relationships, mentor younger women, and build upon my marriage.  If I always look back on what was, I will miss what comes ahead!

I cannot wait till this Saturday’s visit at the farmers’ market.  I have no idea what produce I might find, but I know it will be an adventure!  Additionally, I am looking forward to my future and the plans God has for me.

“Let marriage be held in honor among all,” Hebrews 13:4

This past week we celebrated our 25^th wedding anniversary.  It seems kind of surreal to think that a quarter of a century has passed since we exchanged vows.  I look back at the 24-year-old woman who walked down the aisle with a bouquet in her hand and dreams in her heart, wishing I could tell her some things that will help her through this marriage journey.  These things may not have prevented some hard moments, but maybe they would have given her a little peace and perspective.

Dear Younger Sherry,

1. You will buy a lot of coffee pots until you learn the importance of descaling.  During our marriage, we have destroyed about thirteen coffee pots because we were ignorant about mineral build up in our favorite appliance, causing the heating element to work harder and eventually overheat.  Just like our coffee pots, it is important to regularly maintain our marriage through proper communication.  Too often, we have let minor disappointments and disagreements build up, causing us to react in anger and bitterness.  Instead, I need to be aware of my feelings, address the heart issues and talk about it in a way that is respectful to Terry’s heart.  I don’t always get it right, just like I might let two months go by before I remember to descale my coffee maker, but I am working towards this approach in communication.  By the way, we have managed to keep our current coffee pot alive for four years!
2. You will live in three different states, six houses, and make five different churches your place of worship.  The home you create with Terry is not dependent on where you live or where you worship.  It is also not dependent on the chrome table you had in the beginning of your marriage or the modern farm table you now own.  Addresses and styles change.  What does not change is the atmosphere you intentionally build in your home that your immediate and extended family and friends experience when crossing your threshold.  This atmosphere is built by working together, being open to God’s direction, and growing as individuals and as a couple.
3. Marriage will have some of the highest of highs and some of the lowest of lows.  You will have some mountain top experiences, where everything has a romantic filter as you waltz through meadows filled with flowers.  At the same time, your valleys may be full of rocks, cold, lonely, and difficult.  Do not define the success of your marriage based on those mountain top experiences or make permanent decisions in those desolate valleys.  Instead, your marriage success will be measured by the daily little decisions you make in ordinary living.
4. He loves meatloaf, you do not.  You love cilantro, he says it taste like soap.  You thrive in big cities; he feels claustrophobic after a few days.  Marriage is not about the differences, and it is not even about the compromises.  It is about creating wins for everyone.  Sometimes we have meatloaf, and I focus on the mashed potatoes and peas.  I add a lot of cilantro to my pico de gallo but leave it on the side in the guacamole.  Sometimes we travel to a big city and explore, other times we find a small town with quaint shops.  This way everyone is happy!
5. Despite your differences, you will come together on the important ideas, including our faith, raising children, home education, and your beliefs on community.  These moments will help define your marriage, strengthen your family, and add to your ministry.
6. Finally, Terry was never intended to fulfill all your hopes, dreams, and longings.  Although he is a Godly man, he will make mistakes and fail.  Conversely, you will fail a lot and certainly cannot meet all his needs.  Those deepest desires that were not met in childhood can only be fulfilled in the arms of Jesus.  Focus less on what you bring to the marriage or what Terry brings to the marriage.  Instead, spend more time getting to know Jesus, discovering what He wants to do in you, and bring that to the marriage!

I am sure we will eventually have to replace our coffee pot again, and I am sure we will continue to have some hard conversations.  We will likely have a few more addresses, but we will continue to have an open-door policy for our family and friends.  We continue to discover differences between each other but also new ways to connect.  And most importantly, I look forward to finding my fulfillment in the Lord, as I partner with Terry for the next twenty-five years or longer!

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12

                A few years ago, I heard Ina Garten on a food show share a tip about chocolate.  She said that you can enhance the flavor of chocolate by adding a little instant espresso powder to your batter.  I am always looking for new ways to add coffee to my life, and this seemed the perfect marriage.   Her tip worked, and since then I have seen other recipes that include instant espresso or brewed coffee.  For all coffee haters, the cake or brownie does not end up tasting like a chocolate covered espresso bean, instead it brings out the richness and depth of the chocolate.

                Sometimes in your life, you meet a person who adds a richness and quality to your life just by their presence.  They are not loud or demanding, but instead are faithful, cheerful, and kind.  They walk into your life with a sweetness that makes you a better person.  My friend, Bertha, is that person in my life.

                Bertha came into my life a few years ago when she started attending the same church I attended.  Despite some health concerns and trials in her life, she always walks into a room with a smile on her face and a gentle word of encouragement towards other.  She also has an amazing ability to tell stories that are colorful and make you belly laugh.

                One of her most outstanding traits is her kindness towards others.  Bertha sacrificially gives, not out of her abundance, but out of her heart.  Recently, she shared a story with me that captures the essence of her character.  Bertha was at a thrift store when she found a Bible with an inscription in it written to a boy from his grandmother in 1932.  She thought the inscription might be related to someone in her family and brought it home.  When she discovered it had no connection, she held on to it and prayed about what she should do.  She decided to post the inscription on Facebook, hoping that someone would know the owner of the Bible.  Within a few days, a woman messaged Bertha and said that the Bible belonged to her late father.  He had received the Bible from his grandmother, and the daughter shared with Bertha that her dad was always kind.  After he had passed away, the Bible somehow got lost.  Bertha arranged to meet with the woman and told her she hoped that the Bible would bless her life with the words of Jesus.  Bertha later got a message from another family member who was also related to the owner.  He had lost touch with his family, and Bertha arranged a reunion!

                This is not the first Bible Bertha has returned to an owner.  She shared another story with different details but ending on the same note.  A Bible found its way back to a family member, with a new possibility of the words of God inspiring and changing more lives.  Bertha bubbled over with excitement as she shared her stories.  She then added, she is making it one of her life’s goal to look at Bibles in thrift stores, and if it has an inscription in it, she is going to attempt to return it to its owner.  This is not because she is looking for a feel-good Hallmark ending, but because she really believes the Bible has the power to transform lives!

                These stories blessed my life.  They reminded me that simple acts of kindness can impact our world!  Yes, some of us may start major nonprofits that feed the hungry or help the homeless.  But God does not ask all of us to do grandiose things.  Micah records in 6:8, “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God?  Bertha’s simple acts of kindness add richness to my life, encouraging me to look for opportunities to bless others.

“So we do not lose heart …. as we look not to things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16a, 18

                Late winter, I read the delightful book, “The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating” by Elisabeth Tova Bailey.  It chronicled the year of a woman who was incapacitated by a neurological disease that left her bedridden.  She writes, “There is a certain depth of illness that is piercing in it’s isolation, the only rule of existence is uncertainty, and the only movement is the passage of time.”  One of her caretakers decided to bring a little of the outside world into her room by placing a wild snail in a pot of violets on her nightstand.  As she recovered, Elisabeth observed the life of this ordinary snail.  Her writing extolled the virtues of this simple creature, including the amazing properties of its slime.  That is right, I used the word amazing and slime in the same sentence!  By the end of the book, I was half tempted to get a terrarium and create a habitat for a wild snail to live in for a year.  This often happens to me when I read books that delight me (because of reading the book, “Running with Sherman”, I have seriously considered running with goats).

                It is summer now, and I have planted a huge pot of assorted basil, dreaming of Caprese salad, pesto and margherita pizza.  To successfully grow basil, one must trim the basil plant at certain spots on the stalk to help the plant bush out.  A few weeks ago, I had my first harvest, pruning my plant carefully, anticipating even more abundant future harvests.  The following week, I noticed that my basil plant had a few leaves with holes.  I didn’t think too much of it, still having pesto dreams swirling through my head.  A few days later, I saw that my beautiful bouquet of basil was full of holes from some creature trying to destroy my harvest dreams.  After a little internet research and trails of not-so-amazing slime, I discovered that a slug, a cousin to the snail, had been gorging on my basil at night while I was sleeping.  No longer enamored with any gastropods, I quickly found a way to protect my basil and remove slime trails.

                I find this dichotomy of perspective in all areas of my life; from the enchantment I have watching the birds at my bird feeder to the clamor of noises I make to get the birds off my blackberry bushes.  I even find that with people I love, we can have different perspective on the exact same situation.  A few months ago, I was peering out over my daughter-in-law’s backyard and saw a roly-poly groundhog ambling through her yard.  I immediately grabbed Joel to not only show him the groundhog but to help him give the groundhog a deserving name like George.  Rachel immediately piped up saying, “Joel, tell Mimi we don’t name the woodchucks; they destroy our gardens.”  Even her different name, woodchuck, for this seemingly innocent furry animal seemed harsher than my groundhog that remained nameless.

                Perspective is defined as a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something.  Often, this is based on our personal history, faith, and culture.  It also shapes our responses to situations, sometimes causing us to react in fear, anger, or joy.  But no matter what our perspective is, God sees all and has a different perspective, and according to his Word it will work out for our good.  It is so easy to read scriptures and believe these principles in the abstract, but so much harder to apply them when life is hard!

                Terry’s unfortunate accident has caused some ripple effects in our life.  We’ve had to cancel some plans due to loss of vacation and finances, including our 25^th anniversary trip.  I will be honest; this has been a little hard to swallow.  It was something that I had spent a lot of time planning and researching.  I am profoundly grateful for the blessings God has given us during this time, including us being able to meet all our financial obligations despite loss of income.  Yet, when I think of our upcoming anniversary, I do not see the amazing properties of slime I discovered in reading.  Instead, I see the trail of slime near my basil plant ruining my future pesto.

                I had to throw out some basil before my slug problem was completely solved.  This is a real loss, just like my anniversary plans.  There is nothing I can do to rectify this situation, except plan for next year.  But I don’t have to live with the slug invasion, and I don’t have to live in a place of loss.  I have spent the last three weeks taking daily walks with my husband, talking, and dreaming about our future.  I will have six more weeks of these daily walks.  I am choosing to look at this time as a blessing, trying to see things from God’s perspective.  It’s not always easy, but what we may see as a woodchuck, He might see as a groundhog that needs a name!

“And for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it. He indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.” Matthew 13:23 ESV

                I have a small flower bed, aka a patch of dirt, in front of my house that has been a challenge the entire nine years I have lived here.  When I first moved in, I envisioned planting lots of bright flowers to greet me when I came home.  But, year after year, I was assaulted with withered and diseased flowers, or lavender that made a mullet look good.  After researching dirt this year, I have finally succeeded in creating a beautiful space.  Although the flowers are not heirloom roses or fancy dahlias, the different shades of zinnias and petunias are brightening the entrance to my home and adding beauty to my days!

                Through this process, I have learned that not all dirt is equal.  When we first moved in, the ground in front of our house was worn out, and full of clay and rocks.  Being completely naïve about dirt, I just started planting.  Between the poor quality of the dirt and the full afternoon southern exposure, my first flowers quickly withered away.  I then decided to try my hand at lavender.  It was beautiful the first year, but I had no idea that it might need some pruning, and within a year or two, the lavender came in spotty, with dead wooden stalks spiking out haphazardly.  Finally, after six years of failure, I started to do a little research.  I found that this small space desperately needed some soil amending, so I started adding a little bit of fresh topsoil along with compost.  I also covered the soil with mulch to protect the dirt.  This work, although tedious and costing a little bit of time, energy, and money, has finally paid off!

                Recently one of my pastors, Mike Kemper, preached a message on being good dirt.  Applying the Parable of the Sower, Pastor Mike encouraged us to cultivate good dirt in our lives for God’s word to take root and transform us (click here to view the entire sermon).  I have been meditating on this message for a while.  Am I cultivating myself to not only hear the word of God but to let it transform me as well?  Do I take the time to posture myself with true humility, loosening the hardened clay of my soul, so that I can listen to what God is trying to say to me?  Do I take the time to remove the stones of bitterness, resentment, and even righteous indignation, so that God’s word can saturate me?  Yesterday, as I was writing this blog, I found out that someone I know was making some false assumptions about me and my motives.  It reopened a wound that I have been asking God to heal completely.  Unfortunately, I cannot change that person’s perspective, but I can change how it affects me.  If I choose to let this unfair judgment sit in my mind where it will fester and grow, it will eventually harden into a stone of bitterness.  This stone will take up space in my life where God could be fruitful and bless my life.  Therefore, I am choosing to handle this with grace, and again, ask God to help me forgive those who wrong me.

                Just as I added compost to my dirt, I also need to amend my own life with the beauty and richness of books, music, podcasts, and art that glorify God.  It is easy to fill your life with entertainment that numbs your soul and causes you to slowly decay.  Six years ago, I realized I was spending a lot of time entertaining myself by binge watching different television programs.  I decided to fast TV and movies for a year.  That year, I found the fast was making more space in my life to read the Bible and to hear directly from God.  In that same spirit, I have chosen to cultivate my social media feeds with people that add to the beauty of the world by glorifying God, either directly or indirectly, through their art, music, and/or words.  This helps me meditate on the goodness of the Lord instead of the problems in the world.  This is not to say that I do not pay attention to news, but I don’t let the negativity dictate my social media feed!

                Finally, I need to protect my soil by surrounding myself with a community of believers who can speak truth into my life.  Just like the mulch that added a layer of protection to my dirt, I need others in my life who will cover me with their prayers and edify my spirit.  Also, if I am unaware of a thorn growing in my life, such as a bad attitude, habit, or agreement I have made, they can bring my attention to that thorn in a spirit of love, so I can remove it before it chokes out my fruit.  But this covering of mulch will only work if I have cultivated good soil underneath.  This means, I must be in a position of humility to receive the warning or correction being given.

                Recently, I was corrected by an employee at one of my favorite greenhouses when I commented that their dirt was my favorite dirt to buy.  I was told that he prefers to call his products “good soil”.  No matter what I call it, it is up to me to cultivate it to make it good!

“Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.” ! Peter 4:9

I am a decent cook with a few meals that I make well and other dishes that I could improve on.  I watch cooking shows, read cookbooks, and have more recipes saved on Pinterest then I will ever make.  I use a wide variety of spices and herbs from bright basil to fruity sumac to spicy fennel seeds.  My main problem in cooking is that I don’t trust my instincts.  I tend to follow a recipe to the letter and have a hard time adding my own personal twist.  Honestly, I am ok with that because, although I love to cook, cooking is often a means to end for me.  What I really enjoy about the cooking process is putting food on the table and creating a comfortable place for people to connect.

Hospitality is a buzz word today.  If you shop at Target, Hobby Lobby or TJ Maxx, you can find all sorts of merchandise to help you with your entertaining needs including charcuterie boards, olive wood salad bowls, ceramic serving platters and glass lemonade pitchers.  Pinterest has all kinds of ideas for having your friends over, from a nacho bar to a burger buffet to a brunch.  Although I have tried some of these ideas, these social media constructs can put a lot of pressure on a person to perform beyond their level of comfort level. I’ve been pondering the concept of hospitality, both how to cultivate it in our lives and some of the pitfalls that keep us from inviting someone over for a simple meal.  I hope these thoughts help take the pressure off of entertaining guests.

 First, hospitality is a Biblical concept that Jesus himself practiced.  He could have easily sent the crowd away after performing countless miracles.  Instead, he miraculously provided a simple meal for the crowd consisting of fish and bread.  We don’t know what transpired during that meal, but I can imagine Jesus walking around the crowd, connecting with individuals, making sure they were satisfied and trying to get to know them better.  In addition, Paul admonishes both widows and deacons to practice hospitality.  Peter gives a general instruction to Christians in 1 Peter 4:9 saying, “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.”  The Greek word translated here as hospitality is philoxenos, defined as being generous to guests.

Second, we need to find a way to be hospitable that aligns with our personality and gifting.  As an extrovert, having a large group of people over and making individuals feel connected comes easy for me.  You might prefer small groups, so then just invite one family over.  I am also a casual person, who always googles how to set a table properly when holidays come around.  On the flip-side, I do love putting my food in beautiful serving dishes.  Whether you prefer formal China or paper plates, do what is comfortable for you.  If you are uncomfortable with what you are doing your guests will know it and, in turn, they will feel uncomfortable.  We once attended an open house with a scheduled time slot, and the hostess ushered us through the house at a break-neck pace because she had a schedule of guests to adhere to.  Both my husband and I appreciated the invite, but we left feeling as frantic as the hostess.

 Third, the menu can be as simple or elaborate as your season of life and skill set can handle.  When my children were young, beef roast was often the meal I made when serving friends.  It sat in the crockpot all day getting tender while I attended to toddlers.  Now that my children are adults, I can prepare more elaborate meals, but, sometimes, I still keep it simple, like burgers.  I also have one go-to meal that is often a crowd pleaser, my chicken fajitas.  I have a good handle on how much to make no matter what the size of the crowd.  If cooking is not your thing, feel free to order take out.  Pizza is always a winner.  If you have a limited budget, soups are also good.

                Finally, it’s okay to be a “Martha” when prepping for the meal, but once your guests arrive, be a “Mary”.  We all know the story in the Bible when Martha pleads with Jesus to chastise her sister, Mary, for not helping in serving their guests.  To Martha’s surprise, Jesus admonishes her instead and says that Mary “has chosen the good portion.”  Although Jesus is referring to the fact that Mary was prioritizing spiritual matters over housekeeping, I think it can also apply to being a hostess.  Sharing a meal with other people requires us to be present.  Yes, put your leftovers away in a timely manner so no one gets food poisoning the next day.  Yes, you might want to quickly clear the table so conversation can continue without dirty plates in front of you.  But leave the dishes in the sink and use the time you have to visit with your guests.

I just finished Shauna Niequest’s book “Bread & Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table”.  It’s a delightful book with essays on hospitality and includes some amazing recipes to try.  In a world where we have felt disconnected in the past year due to the pandemic, racial tensions, and political upheaval, I think its time to invite others back into our homes.  Shauna says it best: “This is how the world changes-little by little, table by table, meal by meal, hour by hour.  This is how we chip away at isolation, loneliness, fear.  This is how we connect, in big and small ways, -we do it around the table.”